none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
