; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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