somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
