i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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