A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
