lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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