K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
