Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
