I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
