Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
