You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
