So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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