I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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