she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
