that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just found puke in my bra..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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