imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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