He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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