you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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