you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
