So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
