if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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