scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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