I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
