I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
