porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
