I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
