can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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