I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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