Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
