Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
