How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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