yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
3 2 1 whiskey
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
