A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
