porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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