Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
