i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
