I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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