.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
