i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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