So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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