Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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