"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
