How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
