i would punch a child for taco bell
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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