trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
