I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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