porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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