i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
