Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
