how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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